Boundaries and Body Acceptance

How these two, seemingly unrelated topics, are wildly intertwined.

Boundaries and body acceptance are an interdependence that, to some, may seem far fetched, a stretch, simply not correlated. When in reality, we can never set healthy and reliable boundaries without body acceptance, and I think we need to talk about it.

Boundaries are defined by Merriam Webster as “a real or imaginary point beyond which a person or thing cannot go - as in limit”. For most people, the image that comes to mind when we talk about boundaries is a physical dividing line between two items to keep them separated…much like a backyard fence, the barbed wire on top of a prison yard, glass between the inside and outside world, or clothing between two bodies… a physical object to keep two things separated for the safety/well being of both. Imposing, tangible, and real which makes them easy to honor and enforce.

The squiggly bit that people tend to overlook when talking about boundaries is the imaginary barriers that protect us emotionally. The picket line between standing up for yourself or being taken advantage of. Unassuming, intangible and incredibly hard to enforce because we cannot see them.

Which leads to the question, is a boundary even real if we can’t see it? The right answer is fuck yes, but ask my 14 year old self, who was in the throws of becoming a crippling people pleaser, or my 18 year old self, who fell face first into an abusive relationship, this question, and she would have said “emotional boundaries who?!”